Unrequited Lust Story

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I work in an office where I test adults and children for ADHD, ADD and help diagnose other mental disabilities, so its needless to say that part of my job is knowing how to redirect inappropriate human behavior that might be directed towards me. You learn to make light of otherwise sad, sick or inappropriate things because if you don’t – you couldn’t keep going and dealing with it from day to day. This is a story of the audacity of some people and I just have to laugh, because otherwise how could I continue to do my job well?

So the patient is a terminally ill aging man who is lonely. In his hay-day, maybe he was a ladies man, but now he is just an impotent, dirty old-guy. The entire appointment (four whole hours mind you) he made inappropriate jokes and suggestions, but the winning moment was when he pulled off his glasses and told me to look into his eyes.

“What color do you see?”

“They are blue, sir.”

“Now I want you to imagine being surrounded by that color blue, floating in the clouds.”

“..ok…”

“That’s how my hands could make you feel.”

When faced by death, impotence, addiction, mental disease and guilt – I’m sure making a young woman uncomfortable is one of the last fun things you have. I hope his soul finds peace.

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